Crush

Okay I apologise in advance for the overwhelming cheesiness that is to come. Truly and deeply sorry, but it has to be done.

Since this is my only outlet, though I haven't posted in quite a while, I'm just going to throw down the thing that's taking over my mind.. again.
Long backstory short, I really liked this girl, since we started Secondary School in the same class around three years ago, and it was only last year I finally made a move, but was turned down, unfortunately. I tried to convince myself I was over her, and for a long time it actually worked, though it's clear now that I was just in denial, because once you really like someone, your feelings for them aren't just going to dissipate into sweet nothingness.

So, this girl, let's go with Janie, is really great, probably what I would consider my perfect girl. After letting me down, gently I might add, we kept talking, but I noticed she seemed a bit distant. When the Summer holidays came into full blast, and she went on holidays to the same place she and her family went every year, she started to ignore me, and by "ignore me", I mean reading my messages and deciding to leave me hanging. Granted, I did come off as a bit clingy, I'll confess to that now, it seemed like a bitchy move, and I had never pegged her as that type. But yeah, that continued, and just when I started to give up, I think she noticed and started giving me some attention. I came to the conclusion that being flighty and not paying much attention to someone who knows you like them, gets them riled up, so I started ignoring her. And I've kinda kept it going, though not to such a harsh extent, but that's besides the point.

Anyway, School started up again and there was no doubting she missed all the attention I was giving her. Everyone sorta knew she had taken an unspoken liking to this other guy in my class, Gordo, who, himself, had taken a liking to different girl in my class, Cierra, so on and so forth. While I thought my half-ignoring her was working, she was more falling for the Gordo guy, who doesn't treat her as she should be treated, and I couldn't help but be jealous, you know? The ironic part is that we're all good friends; Janie, Gordo, Cierra and I.

So I thought my new attitude towards her was working, until yesterday, when she invited Gordo over to her house( I know because I saw Instagram pictures, not because I was stalking her). I feel like she's trying to do, to him, what I'm trying to do to her, and it's just a vicious, endless circle of young crushes. The depressing thing is whenever I start liking another girl, talking to her and I think we're going good, Janie treats me all differently and shit, as close as she's ever gotten to flirting with me, and I just end up ditching the other girl for her. It's like she can just snap her fingers and I'll come running, and I can't help it!

I think I've rambled on a bit long.. so I'll just leave it at that and hope I have time during the week to post an update!

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Results Night

     

I know what you're thinking, two blog posts in one day Emmanuel?! You're crazy (though I'm still unsure of what the norm is with these blogs)! But it isn't going to be very long, I just wanted to have recorded, one of the best nights of my life. The cheesiness levels might shoot up, just a warning.

Okay so for results night, everyone usually goes to Wrights, the disco, but a few friends and I came to the conclusion that we were the Hipsters of the School and decided to celebrate our own way, which resulted in a nice dinner at Jade Palace and a hanging out session in the pimped out shed in Glen's back-garden.

The meal was tasty and that, but the most enjoyable part of the night was by far the spending time with each other afterwards. And the thing is, the twelve of us aren't necessarily the closest of friends in School, somehow we just happened to find ourselves in the situation. Anyway, we ate, sang, played the classic truth or dare and just straight out talked. Honestly I felt like the new generation 'Breakfast Club'! I even had my first alcoholic beverage! Haha

Overall the night was brilliant! Better than jumping up and down to song after song in a packed hall. Well in my opinion anyway. 

And now, I leave you with a picture of my friends being.. my friends!

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Junior Cert Results

So.. the results came in today.. bit disappointed to be honest..

In a way, I'm glad my results weren't as high as I had expected, because even I feel myself getting lazier and lazier with every 'A' I received in a test. In my Mocks, which is a set of practice exams we did back in February, I got 9 'A's and 2 'B's and obviously, with that in mind, I didn't put in half the effort that was needed to attain grades that high in the actual exams in June. I left my studying until late May, thinking with just a week or two of study, that I could score high again, but boy was I wrong.

Okay, so I know that you aren't supposed to give silly excuses, just accept that whatever you see on the sheet is a reflection on how much work and effort you bothered to put in, and I do accept that to a high extent, but some part of me can't help but hold my School accountable for partial blame. 

For the Mocks, our own teachers were given our exams to correct, and I can't help but think that this shouldn't be the case from now on. No matter how much your teachers love or hate you, no matter your relationship with varies teachers, they, as humans I believe, will be even the slightest bit biased toward you and your paper when correcting, and, said with no intended arrogance or conceitedness, most, if not all, of the teachers in my School knew of and liked me. I feel like that had something to do with my getting so many 'A's in the Mocks and were I not to have been given those 'A's, I would've worked much harder.

I apologise for that paragraph of pure complaining, that was my first and only on the topic. I'm going to try use this experience as a source of motivation for the long run, the end of which is the Leaving Cert. I'm well aware of my capabilities, when I do and do not work, and plan on making sure I don't make the same mistake again, and I know myself I'm not exactly the one to be giving advice, but to anyone who reads this, whether you're in a situation similar to the one I'm in or not, we need to stop waiting for good things to come along. Sure, once in a while you might be gifted with such without much effort on your behalf, but take it from me, you will only truly achieve success if you take action yourself. 

I'll stop now before I start to sound like one of those motivational speakers and lose the few actually reading this post. 

That's all on my mind at the moment, hope you found this somewhat useful or at least, briefly entertaining, and I'll see (speak to) you guys later!

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Start Up Post

Just a quick, start up blog post so my blog doesn't look so empty and sad.. haha!

Anyway, the only things on my mind, are choir practice, to which I'm headed now, getting exam results on Wednesday (not looking forward to that), how on Earth I'm going to be able to improve my blog, bourbon biscuits with nutella (I'll eventually acquire diabetes), the three books I'm simultaneously reading (The Fault in our Stars, The Maze Runner and The Fall of Five), when will season two of The Legend of Korra ever come out, the scheduling conflict between choir practice on Fridays and extra classes in the Institute of Education, and how I'm going to have to start studying because Fifth Year is no joke!
It's a lot to think about all at once, that's just the norm for me, and it usually gets me stressed out. But I'm working on that!

Sorry if this post is amateurish and not very well written, I'm posting from my iPhone! 
I promise it wont always be this bad haha!

Emmanuel